


Your heart in a grave

by LadyRamora



Category: FFXIV, Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Other, Sad, visiting graves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 01:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4327845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRamora/pseuds/LadyRamora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Warrior of Light visits a grave. Haurchefant x WoL. Angst mixed up with feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your heart in a grave

**Author's Note:**

> Can be considered a continuation of He was your friend. Or it could be a stand alone. Probably writing more fluff later. There will be more grave visiting in another WIP story. Working on it. You guys are probably sick of me. Lol.

You didn't want to come.  
You avoided it for as long as you could. Busying yourself with finishing the war, to hold off this moment till the end. 

If you didn't see it, you could believe that he isn't gone. That he's just on an extended journey away, far from here. 

They gave you his shield. Bittersweet words are your only comfort now. His spirit is with you, his father said. If it is, you can't feel it.

You lean his shield against the tombstone. Staring down at it, you feel hollow inside.

You thought yourself alone, but Alphinaud and Tataru find you. If they speak, you don't hear what they have to say.

You stand silent until they leave. You don't want to share what you have to tell him with anyone else. He deserves that much.

You tell him how angry you are. At him, at yourself, but mostly the world in general. You form relationships that you can't keep. With the Scions, with distant worlds. With him. 

You wanted to keep him the most. But nothing will come of it now. He's gone. You feel alone in a world filled with people. Because you could not save your friends. You could not save him. 

You tell him you don't sleep much anymore. When you do, you dream of that day. Mostly of that critical moment. 

Sometimes, you even get to save him. You're clever in those dreams. You pull him away, rolling to the side out of danger. You sacrifice yourself in his stead. You do anything, everything different. Your favorite ones are when you tackle him down before it even reaches you. 

You're crying now, but you talk through hitching sobs. You tell him every single thing you held back. Things you wanted to say. Held back by your fear of rejection. By fear of loss. 

You've already lost him. 

You like his uncontrollable body language. All the different shades his eyes turn. His hair reminds you of the sky in winter.Those smiles you liked to think were just for you. His concerns for your safety. How much you just liked him. 

Your voice is hoarse when you finish. You feel so tired. It feels like they buried your heart with him. You don't want to feel anymore. 

You beg him not to make you feel anymore. He can't answer you. You slump against his grave, elbows digging into your raised legs, sobbing into your hands. You dig your palms into your eyes, scrubbing away at your tears but you can't seem to stop crying. It hurts too much.

You're half frozen in the snow when they find you. You have to be pulled away. 

You don't go back for a long time after.


End file.
